The art of flirting goes back to the dawn of man. Probably in the stone age men were showing off their kill to impress women just as women flashed their fleshy, child bearing hips in a coy manner for her potential mates to behold. Today flirting looks a little different. But before you pull out your smart phone and start sending sexy texts, remember that flirting should be subtle. While being overtly sexual in your advances can get you a quick date for the night, flirting with the goal of finding a long term partner needs to be different.
So the problem is that you need to let a man know you are interested, but in a subtle way. How? Flirting, of course. The art of flirting is not dead. Follow these 5 easy tips for flirting success.
1. Make It Easy For Him To Approach You
You could go up to a man in a bar and start a conversation. But that would not be subtle flirting. That would be aggressive and might turn some men off. Men are hardwired to pursue the opposite sex. That is what it is. But you need to proactively create an opportunity for a man to approach you.
Many men are not going to be comfortable approaching a whole group of girls Probably you do not go out alone often but even when you are in a group you should create opportunities when you are alone so that a suitor can approach you.You really can go to the ladies room without your posse of friends and it’s OK to take a walk around whatever bar or club you are at. Additionally you should be aware that men are less comfortable going up to a group of women who are seated. So standing up will work better for you.
2. Be Aware Of Male Aphrodisiacs
Think men are looking for women who are a ten on the looks scale? Good news, they’re not! Men are attracted to happy seeming and confident girls. Dating researchers say that men are intimidated by really beautiful women. They are more likely to approach a “7” than they are a “10”.
So let go of the fact that you are not a “10” on the looks scale. In all likelihood when you are in your best date outfit, are having a good hair day and are wearing your best smile and stand up straight with confidence you are a sold “7”. Seem like you are happy by yourself and not like you are out trolling for a date and you will attract men like moths to a flame.
3. Body Language Is Key
Body language sends more messages than verbal language. This is never more true than when you are flirting.
Remember that men will be attracted to a friendly, confident vibe. Forget the coy giggle. Laugh loudly and toss your hair! When talking to a guy you like you need to make eye contact, lean in to listen, and smile with your eyes as well as with your mouth. Take advantage of any opportunities you have to have physical contact – touch his arm gently if he makes you laugh or nudge him at a shared joke.
4. Set Yourself Apart
Don’t let a guy feel like he is on a job interview. Don’t bore him with the standard questions like what he does for a living, which bands he likes and if he has pets. You will set yourself apart from your peers (your competition, ladies!) if you ask questions that are thought provoking or illicit an opportunity to share intellectual intimacy. Example, “what was the best date you ever went on?” or “what’s your guiltiest pleasure on TV when no one else is watching or judging?” You should make sure you are prepared to answer the same question, obviously. And there is a fine line between confiding and sharing so many personal details that you make someone uncomfortable. Keep it upbeat and don’t share too much. You know exactly what I mean!
5. Leave Him Wanting More
By definition, flirting should be subtle. Still keep some mystery about yourself without being aloof. The trick is to let a guy know that it would be OK if he asked for your number, without seeming desperate and asking for his. Men can sense when a woman is on a mission to find a boyfriend at any cost because it’s preferable to being alone. That is not an attractive trait and it turns men off. Don’t let them think you’re that girl!
Flirting is fun and can be the start of a great relationship. But be comfortable with the fact that if it doesn’t work out it’s no big deal. There are plenty more great guys out there.